When you think about highly collectible autographs you may picture Lou Gehrig’s signature, a crisp Babe Ruth or maybe a fancier Richard Petty. One thing’s for sure, you aren’t thinking about any of the autographs on this notorious list.
This features 50 of the simplest signatures, the worst handwriting and the most complex collection of characters that you’ve ever seen. Each section is broken down by autograph type and these select signatures are in no particular order.
The following signatures are light on the overall character count. These athlete autographs are simple, they only feature two letters.
Arnett Moultrie
What better name is there to sign than Arnett Moultrie? Multiple t’s to cross and an “i” at the end to dot. Nah, how about A.M. instead?
Knile Davis
For taking the path of least resistance, Knile appears to use an unorthodox method to his “d”s by going down, up, around, then back again.
Rajon Rondo
You may know this all-star simply as “Rondo” on the court, but on the card, he’s truncated even further to just RR.
Avery Bradley
Having your first and last name both end with a “y” should lead to interesting signature opportunities. Well, not if you’re Avery Bradley – then it’s just an abbreviated body part.
Brandon Harris
Of all the initial-ers, at least Brandon has the courtesy to jazz it up a bit with a circle (although it looks more football shaped than baseball).
Chris Johnson
This on-field speed demon also takes the attitude with his signatures – even a CJ2K would slow him down too much.
Chris Young
Not only is this autograph truncated, but it also appears to have been done while driving a motorcycle over a pothole.
Zeke DeVoss
Not to be confused with Z 2 U.
Freddie Freeman
This autograph can also be quickly extended if he ever changes his jersey number to 77.
Lawrence Timmons
The most surprising thing here is how detailed he makes the pound sign and the numbers.
The professional athlete is constantly bombarded by hungry fans seeking out autographs. Some meticulously sign each signature with pride. Others simply get through the signature. The following athletes fall into what we call the “questionable effort” category.
Josh Howard
This is a minimalistic take on “Josh Howard”. Extremely minimalistic.
T. J. Graham
Good take on a Tampa Bay Ray’s logo, bad take on a T.J. Graham signature.
Ed Davis
At least he goes back to include the “i” in Davis.
Christine Michael
Not sure whether you should be thankful or irate that Christine used a mild squiggle at the end of the “c” that appears to represent the “m” in his name.
Nick Perry
Sorry Nick, it’s hard not to read this as “A Ray”.
Jonas Valanciunas
Yep, this says Jury.
Hector Noesi
What this autograph lacks in letter detail it adds in the “windblown” look.
Wil Myers
Little known (made up) fact: Wil found his signature when scribbling back and forth trying to get ink out of a pen.
Maurice Ager
Who needs a first name, anyway? You’ll know Maurice by his “a” alone.
Jake McGee
This would go into the initial category if it was in-fact, initials. His autographs are J J which is just downright confusing.
Joc Pederson
Not only is this just another two-character autograph, but it also appears to be a backwards “c” and a “g” – none of which begin either Joc’s first or last name.
Jake Odorizzi
The two letters that Jake gives us are fabulous, but that’s it, other than a scribble that looks like a hill and the dots for the two i’s. Maybe he shared common ground with Billy Madison and never mastered the cursive “z”.
Tim Lincecum
Tim, there is no “z” or “p” in either Tim or Lincecum.
Larry Sanders
For being such a large dominating inside presence, his squigglegraph is unimpressive.
Tyler Anderson
Tyler created his autograph at age 2 and has hasn’t changed it since.
Vernand Morrency
Some call him the “Honus Wagner” of the lazy autograph. Others call him a master of efficiency. We just call him V.
Just because athlete are paid to be physical for a living doesn’t mean they aren’t creative. These athletes have autographs that are half art, half signature.
Carlos Gonzalez
This is more Orange County Choppers logo than it is signature, sorry.
Jurickson Profar
The budding young prospect uses much more of a symbol than a signature.
Chris Rainey
The athlete formerly known as Chris Rainey now goes by “lowercase L, lowercase L, Period”
Sergio Santos
Two very nice S’s surround the number 8 in Sergio’s John Hancock. Then it directs you back to re-read and bask in its glory. Not sure why, really, but points for originality.
Chris Sale
This may be an abstract CSE with the other characters nestled somewhere inside, but we like to think of it as three consecutive strikes.
Oscar Taveras
We see a sun shining down on a boat that is racing towards a finish line (oh and Oscar Taveras’s name, too).
Stephen Jackson
This looks more like a wedding invitation than an athlete’s autograph. S+J on the 7th, please RSVP back directly to Stephen.
Drew Storen
If Drew ever calls it quits on baseball, he’ll have a flourishing art career ahead. This looks like it came from a spirograph.
George Springer
Sorry George, I don’t think that is how a cursive “g” (or standard “g”) works.
Nate Davis
More of a formula than a signature, it seems like Nate wants the answer to A+D-5.
Jon Jay
This looks much more like the deceased Wu Tang member ODB than Jon Jay.
Brian Cushing
This man knows two things.
1) How to impose fear on opposing teams
2) How to autograph in Wingdings
Dany ‘Touki’ Toussaint
Hard to analyze the penmanship of a high-schooler, but come on, this is a greater-than sign inside of a pi sign, right?
John Jenkins
This is a squiggly line with two loops. True story.
David DeJesus
Seriously, what is this? Our best guess is a person with one very large foot is walking their circular one-legged dog.
Damion James
Are those cat ears?
Dillion Gee
And these are ducks.
Ronald Torreyes
It’s sad that this autograph made the list. Out of all the other folks on the list, Ronald likely took 10x the time and effort in this signature. The problem is that it isn’t cursive, sorry Ronald.
Thankfully penmanship is not part of the Wonderlick test. If it was, these athletes might have found themselves in a heap of trouble.
Brock Osweiler
This may be the most Picasso-y signature in history. It looks like Xzibit heard he liked signatures and put a signature in his signature so he could sign while he signs.
Patrick Patterson
His autographs are all over the board, but most simply say PPatt in sloppy cursive.
Manny Machado
There are two M’s in there for sure, but everything else looks like a bowl of spaghetti.
Ichiro Suzuki
This autograph has hints of Jackson Pollack with subtle notes of Ruth Kligman. Look for the Ichiro Signature display coming soon to MoMA.
Raul Ibanez
The owner of the world’s sloppiest Autograph may well be Raul. He has officially hit doctor status legibility.
Ryne Sandberg
The owner of the sloppiest signature in the Hall of Fame is far and away Ryne. This isn’t even close to any single part of his name.
There you have it, the 50 most notorious athlete autographs. Think you can find an autograph that should be on the list? Head on over to our Autographed Sports Memorabilia section and have a look.
Anything missing from the list? Please add in the comments below.
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